Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) for Borderline Personality Disorder, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Depression, Anxiety and other Axis I and Axis II mental health disorders
On a scale of one to ten, how intense are your emotions…?
Are they fairly steady, or do they change rapidly…?
Identity issues — not knowing who you are or changing yourself for other people…?
Care to recall how many men or women you’ve slept with in the past couple of decades? Or how many credit cards you’ve maxed out, or the number of times you’ve moved…?
Many of the people I work with in therapy have, often since early childhood, led unbelievably tragic and painful lives, struggling with many of the devastating symptoms of what are known as personality disorders.
They have a history of characterological or emotion regulation problems, some with a clinical diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), often diagnosed because of an attempted suicide.
Most of my clients are people who are more emotionally sensitive than others, and when they experience negative emotions — anger, shame, guilt, hurt, fear, sadness, anxiety, hatred — they do so far more intensely than most other people.
Many will have grown up in an environment that was dismissive and invalidating, where they were labelled as "difficult" or "attention seeking" or even "manipulative", and were discouraged from displaying any negative emotions at all.
So, in adulthood, as these memories and emotions surface, they struggle to find the coping skills they need to control and manage them, particularly in stressful or "triggering" situations, and so engage in impulsive behaviours such as self-harm, misuse of alcohol or drugs, binge-eating, purging, etc.
A number of those I work with can recall a history of sexual or physical abuse. Some have developed an obsession with suicide, or have indeed attempted to kill themselves, often repeatedly.
Borderline Personality Disorder 'borders on' and often co-occurs with other mood disorders, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, or chemical dependency, prevalent in many of my clients.
Do the following scenarios fit your own situation…?
It's hard for you to accept any separation from those you're closest to, and the prospect of being abandoned can leave you feeling terrified.
Sometimes the need for closeness pushes other people's boundaries, pushing them away from you.
There's a need for constant reassurance from partners, resulting in frantic and desperate efforts to avoid being left alone.
Relationships get very 'stormy', they shift from love to hate at the drop of a hat, from "my new best friend" and "love of my life" to an all-consuming hatred and loathing.
The mood swings are incredibly intense, emotions up and down: Quick to heat up; slow to cool down. Negative emotions are overwhelming at times, particularly when stressed or frustrated. Feelings of high anxiety, a sense of being filled with pressure, lead to outrage and aggression.
There's a tendency to act impulsively to regulate these emotions and cope with life. Or behave in a very self-destructive way — drug abuse or alcohol, bingeing and purging, suicide threats or actual attempts, self-harming (cutting and burning), impulsive spending, shoplifting, reckless driving, sexual promiscuity, picking fights, or moving home on a whim, even to another country.
Your sense of self and your identity is one that's fragile and shifting. A sudden change, even a good one, can completely destabilise your own self-image, and your sense of where you fit in in the world, who you are, your likes and dislikes, or confidence in your ability to make decisions.
There's a feeling of emptiness and sometimes you can even feel 'cut off' from your own body. There's confusion about your own sexual orientation.
Thinking becomes distorted, particularly when under stress or with certain triggers. Everything is simply "either-or"; a very 'black and white' world where grey doesn't really exist and where compromise is an impossibility. There's a tendency to see others as either all-good or all-bad. It's difficult to see positives, and easy to become overly jealous or suspicious, or overly conscious about perceived threats. Even 'neutral' facial expressions from others are interpreted as being hostile towards you.
If one or more of these scenarios is true for you, then don't hesitate to contact me
Service Categories
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Counselling, Meditation, Psychotherapy
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